SMITH: The tale of an average man's life plunging into absurdity.

Who exactly is Albert Smith?

Ever looked in the mirror and wondered, there must be more to life than this? Albert had, only to soon discover one Sunday morning stumbling into his kitchen, that it was probably best not knowing.

Sometimes, life is very silly.


 An extract of the book can now be read at Amazon - the first six (and a bit) chapters. Not to mention that it is ridiculously cheap.

 And you can purchase signed copies, complete with author sketch, here.

It's not every week you wake up to discover you are destined to become the most important person ever to have lived, and neither is it every week that you then learn a deadly assassin, and a maniacal despot (once he's watered the plants and fed the fish, that is), are suddenly after you because of it. But this is certainly no ordinary week for Albert Smith, and it isn't going to get better any time soon. Or indeed make sense.

And whilst he does find himself not alone, those he is with, who apparently have been entrusted with his safe-keeping, could be worse than those who are now after him; can the ex-librarian, Grint, be trusted? Why is Panda so elusive, and what exactly is she hiding? And as for Sunny, well, he couldn't care less whether Smith lives or dies - air-breathers you see, waste of his time.

After wondering for so long, whilst staring up at the heavens, if there was more to life than his own mundane existence, no sooner does Smith find out that there is, he realizes he was probably better off not knowing about it in the first place.

Hamsters, blueberry muffins, 1970's photo booths, P'Oo, rolling pins, how life began, Meh, dark speed, Made in Anich, chapless pants, and toasters - sometimes life can be very silly indeed. 

10 Things you never knew about the World of Smith but should ... 

  1. Who exactly created the Universe?

  2. Coffee and its importance

  3. Dark Speed

  4. Bagel or muffin: it actually matters y’know

  5. Why robots have Unions …

  6. … and why they are pointless

  7. What is better than spilling your drink down the front of a Playboy model's white t-shirt?

  8. P’Oo

  9. Made in Anich

  10. Meh – I’d explain, but I can’t be bothered


 Many thanks to Wiffle Ball for allowing the use of their name and product throughout this novel.

Many thanks to Wiffle Ball for allowing the use of their name

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